


It's the most wonderful, or so I've heard

by Bedlamwolf



Series: Marvel Holiday stories [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: first Holiday story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2019-04-28 12:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bedlamwolf/pseuds/Bedlamwolf
Summary: Thor really tries hard to fit in when visiting Midgard, but he really doesn't understand all the little customs people have these days. Luckily his lady love Jane Foster was able to explain this winter solstice everyone seemed so excited about. He was sure his friends and comrades would appreciate the work he put into celebrating their traditional holiday.





	It's the most wonderful, or so I've heard

**Author's Note:**

> 4/27/2018 So.... it only took me forever, but here is the original holiday story my buddy WeRunYounder and I wrote back in 2015 for the Avengers Universe. I hope you all like it.

****

 

**THOR**

Thor was somewhat confused when Jane tried explaining the Midgardian customs surrounding the winter holidays. (This may be due in part to Jane getting sidetracked halfway through and explaining all the astronomical phenomena that take place only in the winter months.)

Nevertheless, Thor was determined embrace these strange new customs. He remembered Jane mentioning the importance of stars in evergreens. (Or was it stars on evergreens? No matter.) For what better symbol of Hope, Strength and New Life than the shield of Captain America?

He knew his friends would be pleased when they came home to see his festive decorations.

  **TONY**

Tony was the first to the small house that was serving as their temporary home away from home. The local coffee didn’t meet his standards so really he was just stopping by to refuel before going back out to annoy the Agents in the field some more.

He’d almost missed it at first since he was staring at his StarkPhone, but a double-take proved he wasn’t imagining things. That was definitely Spangle’s Shield in the middle of a wreath.

“Thor? Is there a reason for…?” Tony waved to the front deck as he made a beeline to the coffee pot.

Thor beamed proudly. “It’s a Midgardian custom, is it not? Stars and trees that are ever green on the holidays?”

Tony waited for his drink, “Well, you’re not wrong.” Just as the machine dinged he snapped his fingers, “LIGHTS! What it really needs is lights! Lots of them. I think I saw some at the hardware store. Be right back!” He called, running out the door, drink forgotten.

Thor just continued to smile happily. He was so pleased friend Tony was getting into the spirit of the holidays. Decorating had been an excellent idea.

 

**BRUCE**

 

Bruce nearly rode into a ditch as he swerved his bicycle to avoid crashing headlong into Tony’s speeding car. That man had a serious problem and NEEDED TO BE SHOWN THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS.

 _Oh, chill out_ , Bruce thought at the Other Guy. Tony wasn’t the only one with a serious problem. Though for someone who always insisted on driving, he could do with a few refreshers. You know, simple stuff like not going 70mph around blind corners on dirt roads.

Bruce almost toppled off his bicycle a second time as he rounded the corner and saw the porch. Was that really Steve’s shield in the middle of a wreath?

“Do you like the decorations, my friend?” Thor called out as Bruce walked up the steps. “Tony just left to procure some lighting from the hardware store. They will make a most excellent addition to these holiday decorations.”

“Is that where he was off to in such a hurry?” Bruce responded. “He practically ran me down on his way out of here. I almost thought it was Black Friday.”

“Black Friday? Do they mourn my mother here on Midgard as well?”

“Ah, not exactly,” Bruce said, trying to backpedal. “It’s… it’s hard to explain.” He really did not want to explain the hyper-consumerism of Black Friday to the god. He should have known anything revolving around Freya would be a sore subject. Forget it. Time to change the subject. “The wreath looks really great, though. Do you think it could use some ornaments to add more color?”

“Ornaments!” Thor exclaimed. “Yes, I have heard of these! They symbolize the berries on the trees of ever green. Where can we obtain the ornaments to adorn our circle of greenery?”

It had been so long since Bruce had celebrated a normal holiday that he had to think about it. He missed the days before “the incident” when he could celebrate in a normal fashion. When he could decorate a tree without worrying about taking it (and the house around it) out by accident.

“I think you can get them in any department store,” Bruce replied slowly. He wondered how shatterproof those shatterproof ornaments actually were. Probably not shatterproof enough for the Other Guy, but at least they’d be safer than those glass balls that were all the rage the last time he tried decorating for the holidays.

“To the store of departments!” Thor declared, jolting Bruce out of his reverie.

“Woah, hang on.” Bruce could only imagine the kind of havoc Thor would create in a department store. “Let’s just call Tony and have him pick up some ornaments on his way home.”

 

**CLINT**

 

Clint wasn’t so sure he was alright with this whole “country living” with the team thing they had going on. On the one hand, less flack about carrying his bow in public. On the other, he was pretty sure that Tony and Bruce officially lost their minds. Why else would Cap’s shield be hanging out for the world to see surrounded by a…. Wreath.

“Hey Legolas, wanna get in on this?” Tony grinned, waving a staple gun in a way most Agents would consider threatening.

The archer grinned widely, “Got any ribbon?”

“Yeah, on the counter in the bags.” Came Bruce’s distracted answer. “Why?”

“Bows.”

“He did not just–”

“He did.”

“Does he even know how to tie a bow? Like a halfway decent one?”

Clint flicked Tony on the head as he hopped onto the banister, scissors in one hand and spool of large silver ribbon in the other. “I’m an archer. The BEST archer.

“That has nothing to do with it!”

“It’s a kind of a bow. Are you doubting my skills with a bow?”

“I’m doubting your skills in a lot of things–” Tony paused, mouth hanging open as Clint hopped down to hang a perfectly portioned bow from one side of the wreath. “But not in this, Martha.”

 

**NATASHA**

 

Natasha could not believe her eyes when she got back to the team’s country hideaway. The whole idea was to be keeping a low profile, and this was anything but low profile.

“Which of you is responsible for this mess?” she demanded as she stomped up to the porch where the rest of the team was gathered.

“Aww, Nat, don’t be like that,” Clint whined.

“Yeah, have some hot chocolate,” Bruce said as he handed her a steaming mug.

Natasha took an appreciative sip before continuing her rant. “Don’t think you can distract me with hot chocolate, Banner! I’ve told you boys a million times to pick up after yourselves, and still I come home to a place that looks like a dump. There are ribbon spools in the lawn, ornament wrappers under the porch, a staple gun lying on the stairs, and Steve’s shield in the middle of a wreath! What is it going to take to get the concept of cleaning through your thick skulls?!”

“We saved an extra wreath for you,” Thor told her happily. His friend Natasha was so fierce and passionate about these holiday traditions. He imagined her outburst was just due to feeling left out. And he was quite pleased with himself for how quickly he picked up the Midgardian slang for the evergreen circles. “You may decorate it in a manner befitting your holiday spirit!”

Natasha just shook her head and accepted the wreath from the blond god. “I’m going to need some holiday spirits to deal with you lot.”

 

**SAM**

 

Sam was not having a good day. It had started off seeming like a nice December day- unseasonably warm, but nothing crazy going on. No aliens attacking, evil robots, super powered crazy people… roommates with serious PTSD. Nothing but him and his Walking Dead that he recorded from last week (because it scared the crap out of Steve, and he’d promised to not watch it while his friend was around.) It should have been a GOOD day for Sam.

And it was. Right up until he got a call from Tony. “How did you even get this number?”

“Mm? Oh, I looked on Steve’s phone. You would not believe the things he takes pictures of.”

“Tony. You can’t do that.”

“Sorry, what was that? Couldn’t hear you.” More like was choosing to ignore him.

Sam sighed. “What do you want?”

“So glad you asked!” The fact you could hear the smile was worrying. “Listen, I need you to be a dear and pop over to this little boutique on Manhattan and pick me up a few things. Don’t worry, I already sent them the order and it’s all taken care of.”

“Uh-huh….” Turning off the TV with more than a little bit of remorse he figured he could do this. It shouldn’t take THAT long, right? “Where am I bringing this crap to? Local food bank donation?”

There was a pause. “Noooo, but that’s a great idea! I’ll put another order in for them. I need YOU to bring the stuff I just ordered to us. Here.”

“Tony. You’re out in the middle of nowhere.”

“Only about two hours as the Falcon flies.”

“I am NOT flying to deliver you groceries! Don’t you HAVE a grocery store out there?!”

“I’ll invite you to our holiday party. We’d call it Christmas, but well, THOR and all that.”

Sam rubbed his forehead. “You’re supposed to be incognito. I’m pretty sure that means no parties.”

“Does not.”

“Tony. I’ve BEEN to your parties.”

Tony huffed, insulted. “Just trust me feather duster and get here. You’re not going to want to miss THIS party.”

Sam groaned as the line went dead. He just knew the only reason he was getting called and not Rodney was because the other was currently in another country. His lip twitched slightly before he laughed. It just meant he’d have one up on Warmachine then, wouldn’t it?

 

**STEVE**

 

Steve was starting to seriously regret accepting Tony’s invitation when a gust of wind resulted in another face full of pine needles. Scratch that. He had regretted accepting the moment he was invited. Was staying at home curled up with Sam’s dog and a good book too much to ask?

Apparently, yes. And he’d been suckered into bringing the “festive tree of ever green” as he’d been told Thor was calling it. This was all a terrible idea. He had decades of reading to catch up on, AND his shield was still missing.

Steve was trying to shift the giant tree out of his face when he heard a very drunk Tony call his name. Or what he presumed was meant to be his name if he had been inclined to answer to “Captain Spangles”.

“Tony, what have you been drinking?” he asked as he put down the tree. Knowing Tony, he was going to need both hands to deal with his friend.

Before Tony could answer, though, Steve spied Thor’s wreath.

“What the hell is my shield doing up there?!”

“Tsk, tsk, Cappy Rogers. That’s a quarter for the swear box, that is.”

“Dammit, Tony! I’ve been looking for that for weeks!”

“Another quarter, m’boy! You’d think you’d been in the Navy with that mouth,” Tony slurred.

“He learned that language from you, you know,” Natasha said, giggling from the porch.

“She’s right,” Clint added with what would have been a sage nod was he not listing to the side and in danger of spilling his drink. “Our Cap was all virt-virtuosis-virtuousness until he spent too much time with you.”

 

**THOR**

 

Thor was glad to see his friends were enjoying the eggnog. He knew the recipe traditionally called for rum, but he’d decided to add a traditional Asgardian liquor instead. Nothing but the mightiest eggnog would do for his friends.

“Come, let us begin the traditional Midgardian carols!”

 

**FURY**

 

Fury stood there for a moment just taking it all in. The tacky decorations in the yard looked out of place without snow. What caught his eye the most of course was the fact that CAPTAIN AMERICA’S SHIELD was hanging from the porch in the middle of a wreath. His eye twitched - the bad one.

Even from out here he could hear what he was going to assume was Thor attempting to sing. That man could not carry a tune to carry his life, and it was not helped by the fact that Asgardians seemed to shout more than sing. By the time he’d made it to the door he could hear Natasha scolding someone in Russian and laughter so he felt prepared for anything.

“What the HELL is going on in here?” He asked, coming into the one main room of the small house to find it quite full. “Rogers, Wilson, what are you doing here?”

Wilson smiled sloppily at him, his goggles around his neck, “Invited, Sir Fire- I mean Furr- Er Fury.”

“To WHAT?”

“A Migardian festive! Come, join us!” Thor boomed, poring what Nick was hoping was eggnog. Somehow he doubted it was JUST that.

He took it anyway. Anything to help with the stabbing pain in his head at the thought of all the paperwork this was going to cause... “Is that Ironman’s faceplate on top of the tree?”

“Ye-P.” Barton agreed.

Romanoff oozed over the back on the couch and onto the archer’s lap, neither of them dropping their drinks, “Thor’s cape is the skirt-thing.”

“And the shield outside?”

“Apparently Thor ‘borrowed’ it.” Roger sounded annoyed. “Jerk.”

“T’is festive!” The god protested.

“The neighbors are going to notice.”

“They should. We invited them over.” Banner snickered. “They offered to bring wine.”

Stark for some reason reached over and slapped Wilson’s face. Fury wasn’t sure it was deliberate but it was kind of funny. “Told you I could throw a good party.”

“Psh. It’s THOR’s party. We all just... helped.”


End file.
